One final post

Its now the beginning of September 2009, and we've been home in Brisbane for about 5 or 6 weeks. We spent 3 years in China and the experience changed me in a way that you'd imagine a 3 year period spent in a foreign culture would.

I left for China not having heard of Suzhou, recently married and having no special interest in China and only a very basic knowledge of its Communist history. I returned with my wife and our boy, born in Shanghai, a pretty decent Chinese language ability, many amazing and crazy memories and a fascination with China and East Asia. In that time I learnt how to teach adults and children, sort of learnt how to discipline kids, worked in a business consultancy, studied Chinese fulltime for a semester, learnt to live without a car, struggled and struggled with the restrictive and, to me, bizarre practices that are part of the world's biggest country, and eventually got myself to a point where I started to see things a little... differently.

I wish I took more photos because I know that those that I did take (and the short movies) will in time become my memories of that experience. But so much of the everyday, mundane occurrences don't get photo'd.... so its for that reason that I hope that this blog can capture some of these memories.

I have fond memories of riding my bike to and from Lynch Language School. The first 3 or 4 months when I really didn't know what I was doing and would take ages to prepare lessons. The nervousness of some of those early lessons - trying to be a comedian to a room full of 30 or 40 people at times... And the thrill of riding home late at night, often in the cold with my beanie, scarf, thick gloves and heavy jacket, pleased in my mind with the real sense of achievement - being able to teach English and being able to speak Chinese and survive in many situations.

The time it snowed, which we loved, and escaping to the Philippines... The food and items of a Chinese food shop... The staring... The amazing performances by the Koreans, and Japanese students at SSIS... Archie being born at United Family Hospital in Shangers (and that hospital's food - fantastic).... The Korean dramas on Chinese TV.... The Govt blackouts on TV, internet censorship.... The Olympics, The Sichuan Earthquake, unrest in Tibet... A few too many nights out with expats in dodgy Chinese bars... Shopping at H&M, eating at Element Fresh in Shanghai.... The bitter cold and endless winters... Walking with Archie around HuPan HuaYuan... This is random, but all of these things are my memories of that time.

The last year and a half is dominated by Archie. Our photos reflect that, which is to be expected, but it leaves gaps in the rest of our Chinese experience. That time was a wonderful time for Tracey, Archie and I - seeing each of us develop into our roles as father, mother and watching Arch grow from baby to little toddler. It was also a great time seeing Xiao Rao - Archie's "Ayi" (babysitter) interact with Arch, and learning more about her and her life. I miss her and that life of then so much. Archie still thinks about Ayi and Dylan - his neighbour friend who he'd play with every week in Suzhou. Lately he's been saying "More Ayi", "More Dylan". I feel sad that this part of his, and our life had to end, and its also hard saying goodbye to someone who you know you'll probably never see again.

The last 8 months or so, I had a great routine of working from home from 9am to 1pm for Emerging Asia and a bit of English teaching (often kids) one afternoon a week, and 1 or 2 Chinese lessons with Sherry, plus lots of time with Archie. One or two days a week I would catch the fast train from Suzhou to Shanghai (about 35 mins + taxis) to work at Emerging Asia's Shanghai offices in the Hong Kong Tower at Huaihai Zhonglu. I enjoyed spending more time in Shanghai and the benefits - H&M just down the road, Xintiandi right next door. Merry's smile when I arrived at work each day. I miss all of this.

Likewise with the friends that made up our life in Suzhou. Many expat friends from Tracey's school - so many people, but Felicity and Gerard, the Dutch girls!, Tash, Melody, Byron and Lina (our great trip to the DMZ in Korea!), Richard and Libby to mention a few. Troy from Lynch, the girls from Lynch (Fiona, Nina, Alice), the lovely Jessica - our real estate agent, but also a Chinese teacher to me and guide to Chinese music, my Chinese teachers - those from Suzhou DaXue, and Terri and especially Sherry who taught me for the last 8 months or so. Then there's my colleagues from Emerging Asia - Adil, Martin, Jessica, Merry... I really miss these people. Since returning I've had some email/skype contact with Jessica, Martin, Merry and Nina and hope that I can continue to stay in touch, but I know it will be difficult.

I've learnt to appreciate the Chinese people's attitude to work and the way that they welcome and include you once they become friends with you. Once you're in - you're in, but outside of that.... its a competitive world of push and shove, literally...

I'm surprised at how little I've been asked about China, my experience or anything. For such a hugely topical country, its strange. I remember reading a few years back how the US was the only country that you 'had to have a relationship with' - doesn't matter where you were born or live. China is now a country that the whole world 'has a relationship with'.

If I do get asked about it, it nearly always comes from a stranger - I remember that in the first 2/3 weeks after we returned not a single friend or family member asked me about it. I guess they just assumed it was such a big thing that it didn't need a specific question? Everyone had heard bits (and some visited us) while we were there. Still, I wasn't prepared for this. If I was to talk about the experience it is of course impossible to do so in some compact short way. What I can say, is that It now feels like the most amazing experience, so many good times, so much travel, so much that I've learnt, but I know that memories always do this over time - the mind disguises the difficult, the frustrating, the confused situations where you felt that you never truly understood what was going on...

I hope my love for the Chinese people and my wishes for greater improvements in aspects of their lives will come true. I feel a deep, sad longing to be with those people, to have that life back, to be together. All over the world there are thousands, millions of people that we can connect with, some we have, but most we will never. This realisation, combined with the sad feeling of distance from loved ones is one of the truly human experiences, I hope you get that like I get that.

再见，安吉。